Forgiveness and Mercy

Forgiveness Is a Process

Womanist theologian Karen Baker-Fletcher describes forgiveness as a source

of healing that can help break repetitive cycles of hatred and violence.

Forgiveness is grounded in love that demands justice. Forgiveness is a

God-given grace that frees the sinned against to pray for the salvation of

sinners to free the world from further hatred, violence, and desecration.

Forgiveness is … the act of desiring divine overcoming of evil while also

desiring the salvation of those who have been seduced by it. Forgiveness is

grounded in a tough divine love that prays for the power of righteousness to

persuasively, powerfully move sinners into righteousness against all visible

odds so that evil is overcome.

In contrast, hatred desires the permanent annihilation of the other. Hatred has

a negative capacity to infect the souls of well-meaning people of faith and the

faithless alike when they are on the receiving end of sin. Hatred tempts the

hated to hate. Forgiveness frees the sinned against, liberating them from

continuing the cycle of hatred they have experienced. The pain of

woundedness in forgiveness does not simply evaporate. That would be a

denial of creaturely and divine humanity. To the contrary, the pain remains but

is transformed into the healing force of compassion for a deeply wounded

world and to joy wherever a witness to healing appears.

Through their work in social justice movements, embodiment teacher Prentis

Hemphill names the inherent strength of a conscious act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness and grace have much more to offer any culture than we give

them credit for. They are rare sightings these days, yet where I have seen

them, when I’ve been offered them, I realize that they are not the weak, pitiful

emotions of people who don’t value themselves. They are the generous gift of

people who know their worth cannot be diminished or compromised. When we

offer grace or forgiveness, we refuse the false correlation between our worth

and actions. But I’m not speaking about the kind of grace or forgiveness that

coddles or panders. We don’t forgive out of our own desperation for another

person; we forgive to invite one another back into our highest selves, back

into our commitments. There is an acknowledgement that someone has been

wronged or hurt, and forgiveness extends the possibility of trying again.

I have struggled my way through forgiveness and grace, just as most of us struggle

with them because of how often our hearts have been broken and how often

we’ve been betrayed. I think it’s important for us to heed the warnings. Maybe

eventually we can all learn to forgive far and wide, the way religions have

taught. But for me to think of it that way is too tall an order. Maybe now we

only need to forgive close in, nearby: the people in our families and our

communities, the people we struggle alongside. Rather than denounce mercy,

we try it in small doses. From there maybe forgiveness and grace spread and

cover us, become more of the air we breathe.

1) Recall a recent event where you felt wronged or wounded. How did you

handle it and did it get resolved?

2) With “forgiveness” as a model for reconciliation, do you think the end

result would have been more loving? More compassionate? More

healing for both parties?

3) If you did resolve the event with “forgiveness,” how would you have tried

to resolve the event in the past? Same results or not ?